Sunday, January 24, 2010

A husband and a father

Months ago, as imminent fatherhood began staring me in the face, I got a little nervous. Me? A dad? The responsibility of it all was a little intimidating, as it probably should have been if I was going to be serious about investing in my children, discipling them and really raising them as I've been commanded.

So, I started praying. I also did some reading (I'd HIGHLY recommend Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham) and listened to quite a few sermons on marriage and parenting. One of the first things that became clear is that being a good father must begin with being a good husband. Our children will learn more from how I treat their mom (and how she treats me) than perhaps anything else. We can preach to them and tell them what's right and what's wrong and try our best to lead them, but if my words contradict what they SEE me doing and what they hear me saying to Heather, then everything I've tried to teach them will be practically useless. My marriage has to be the #1 priority of all my worldly relationships. I can't exhaust all my energy on everything from work and my hobbies and to the kids themselves, giving Heather the leftovers, and then think I'm doing my children a favor!

Anyway, many of the sermons I listened to in the last few months were challenging, so for all you husbands and dads out there, I'd like to share an excerpt of one by Matt Chandler in hopes that it may benefit you like it did me. I'll try to post another one by Paul Washer later this week. I'd encourage you to download the audio for the entire sermon here. It's impossible to capture the passion that Chandler delivered this message with, but here it is anyway:

"'Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. ..' 1 Peter 3:7.
This is the same Greek word as the word 'considerate.' Husbands should live with their wives in a way that is considerate. If I could make it simple, I would say this. Get up! Get off the couch! You have just as many biblical responsibilities at home as your wife does.

So what ends up happening in the Christian world in particular is we divide it into 'This is what I do as the man, and this is what she does as the woman.' And then we like to pretend that her role on top of all of that is also to support us, but we don’t put that street going back the other way where our job is also to support her in her calling at the home.

So what ends up happening is the wife cooks dinner after watching the kids all day long, the husband comes home and his job now is to watch SportsCenter over and over and over again while his poor wife then has to go back and do the dishes, get the kids in the bath, put the kids to bed, and then at 10:15 at night, she finally has a second to breathe.

Get up! If she cooks, you come home and you clean the dishes, help her set the table! Men, put your kids to bed at night! Let her breathe. Your wife has a soul! Do you get that? She’s not your servant…She has a soul! Do you know what a full day around children will do to you mentally? Put them to bed at night and give her those three hours off, for your own safety. Put them in the bath, get them in their pajamas, read to them their Bible story, say their prayers, tuck them in and kiss their faces. When your wife pulls into the driveway with a car full of groceries…Get up! Are you serious? She’s not your slave! Get up!

Be considerate. It’s your role to feel her out. Sometimes she’s stressed out of her mind and you need to get her out of there. Sometimes she’s done and needs adult conversation and you’ve got to get her out of there. There’s nothing biblical that says she’s the one who vacuums the living room.

And on and on I could go. You be considerate. You live with your wife in a way that considers her soul, considers her mind, considers her emotions. "


Monday, January 18, 2010

Saturday, January 9, 2010

In Addis!

We are in Ethiopia!! We have actually been here since Wednesday night but for some reason have had trouble accessing our blog. The hotel is really nice... the Internet actually works most of the time and we even have hot showers! Both the city and the people are beautiful. Wish we could post pictures but we weren't expecting to have Internet so we didn't bring a laptop. I'm slowly pecking this out on the iPod. Yesterday we met up with a friend who showed us around a little. We went to a neat cafe/restaurant, exchanged some money, picked up some supplies at a market, found Isaiah some cute Ethiopian books, and learned how to negotiate a cab fare (although with limited language skills, it's not the easiest thing to do). We have gotten a glimpse of the poverty here, and although we knew to expect it, it's still hard to see and even harder to know the best way to help.
We are glad we arrived early, since it gave us time to rest, switch time zones, unpack, and explore a little. We're looking forward to meeting the other families when they arrive, and absolutely CAN'T WAIT for tomorrow afternoon, when we will finally get to meet our son! Thank you for all your prayers! We'd love for you to pray for safe travels for the other families, and for God to prepare us and our children for the transition tomorrow. Can you believe it? ONE MORE DAY!!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

In Philly

We are sitting in Philly snacking on fresh fruit and fancy cheeses...this is the way to travel! Thanks sis for the first class tickets! We've had an amazing start and are enjoying every minute. Tomorrow, Frankfurt... Wednesday, Addis!! We can't stop smiling :)

Dear Son

Dear Isaiah,

Hold on little one. Mommy and I are on our way as fast as we can get to you!! We have waited for this for so long and have already loved you more than you can imagine.

And you know what? We aren't the only ones who already love you! Amazing family and friends await your arrival home and they have prayed for you more times than you can count.

I can't wait for the day to come when I no longer wonder what your cry sounds like, or wonder what it's like to hold you in my arms or look into your beautiful eyes.

Hold on just a little longer. You will be home soon.

Love, Daddy

Saturday, January 2, 2010


That's right people, we are leaving in 2 days!!!! Thanks to the generosity of my sister, we are using frequent flier miles to travel, so we are leaving a little earlier than we first thought. We'll be stopping for one day and night in Frankfurt, and then we'll fly on to Addis, arriving on the 6th. My birthday is on the 5th, so we'll be celebrating German style. We are so excited. It's been a crazy week of packing and planning and although we still have so much to do, the excitement has now taken over the anxiety, and we just can't wait to get on that plane. We will meet our son on the 10th, just one week from tomorrow. It's so unbelievable that the time has finally come. Our Lord is so faithful. He has blessed us beyond measure.

Praise the Lord, all nations! Extol Him, all peoples! For great is His steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!
Psalm 117