Today we mailed in our contracts, making us official clients of AGCI. I was expecting to be a little nervous because with our paperwork we had to send in a large check. However, as Brian and I were about to mail it in, we discovered that our fears were not about the money. Instead we were asking questions such as “What if we are terrible parents?” or “What if we can’t handle the difficulties that come with being white parents raising a black child?” These questions and many others often threaten to overtake us. They come from some very real fears. Fears of inadequacy, fears of failure, and fears of the unknown, to name a few. However, when we start to ask these questions we must quickly think of the alternative. “If we don’t adopt, who will care for this child?” “Who will feed him, love him, and tuck him in at night?” and most importantly, “Who will teach him about Jesus and the sacrifice that has been made on our behalf?” Yes, we know that our child will face many hardships growing up here with us, yet our fears of what this child would face if left alone are greater. Our pastor said on Sunday that the opposite of fear is trusting in the Lord. He explained how a lot of our fears come from the fear of man, fearing people and their opinions, more than fearing God and His opinion. This is so true too many times in my own life. My hope is that God will use this process to teach us more about trusting in Him, and that each time we are faced with fear, we will choose to believe God’s promises over our fears, and choose to fear God, more than man.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
-Heather
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Though fear of man is wrong... those fears you gave are completely common! Whether adopting or giving birth I think every parent has had that panic of "what if i'm a horrible parent?" And with multi-race families there are definitely other normal fears..... BUT what you can also remember is that you're only given one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord will not give you more than you can take AND He hasn't promised tomorrow so there's no point in worrying.
With each day of being a parent over that precious boy you two will have, God will give you wisdom and grant you the peace to raise Him in love. And you most likely will hit struggles, but they will NOT overwhelm you. For God is preparing you today. You will be amazed 5 years from now when you look back and see where God has brought you, what He has taught you and how He prepared you.
You two will make AMAZING parents and I am so grateful the Lord has laid this adoption on your heart!
love,
Isabelle's mom ;-)